|The S is for Suckage, and the U is for Up yours.|
So, it's been a while since I've written anything, mostly because the only free time I have is when I'm sitting in a car. The rest of my time is spent feeding a baby, changing a baby, soothing a baby and teaching him how to destroy my enemies when he grows up. Perpetually assholey barista at my local Starbucks, be warned. The enemy of my enemy is my son.
As this is a horror blog, I should probably throw something horror-y in it. Well, as it happens, I am working on a new script, titled She Swallows, and it's based on my favorite guilty pleasure this side of an empty Pepperidge Farm cake box: the Real Housewives franchise. I love it. I love to watch it, talk about it, listen to (hilarious) podcasts that recap it, and so on and so forth. Why? Hell, I don't know, pregnancy hormones? Postpartum repression? Anyway, I'm going to make my housewives eat each other. Out. Kidding. Unless my script gets optioned by Vivid, and listen, I like that whole roof-over-my-head thing too much to judge. But really, what do you think? Cannibal housewives. I'm making "eat the rich" a real thing, y'all. Now, I know it's been said that we should "write what (we) know," but I never do what I'm told; otherwise, I'd be writing about green tea fraps and the lyrics to J.J. Fad's Supersonic.
Or I could write about traffic. Coming soon, from the writer of She Swallows ... It Blows.