Living In Video.

Tom Petty says I don't have to live like a refugee ... but for now, I guess I sort of have to. Good people, I've been dealing with a nasty troll, and for a few weeks now, he's been bent on ruining any sort of life I've been building on YouTube for the past three years. Now, I know I owe YouTube a debt—after all, I met my husband on the site, and I've formed friendships that have extended into my offline life and have become like family to me—but the way to repay a debt should not have to be through jumping hoops of hellfire courtesy of the motherfucker of all cyberbullies. I wish YouTube would unload the son of a bitch, but they won't, and I've come to terms with that.

I will say this ... yes, he's given me a run for my money, and yes, he's caused me to privatize my videos and make my channel invisible through the Christmas break, but my channel is still there, my offline life is great, and he hasn't broken my spirit. It really sucks that everyone else can come onto YouTube and share their hobbies and passions, but I can't, simply because of the color of my skin. I wasn't aware that you had to be white to be a horror fan. My mother is white, if that helps. I could be half of a fan.

I shouldn't have to justify shit with anyone, but I will clarify—just this once—that I am proud to be who I am, what(s) I am, and I love eating yams with my green eggs and ham. Sam I am. I'm not out to change anyone's minds, or change the world, or start any movement that I can't finish in the can. I'm just trying to be myself. I've been a horror fan for my entire life, ever since I was a toddler being schlepped to the drive-in by my stoner parents in the late 1970s. I grew up in the good years, when VHS was cheap to rent, and it was all gravy, from the Media ident right down to the tracking bars. And I've always loved other horror fans, because I could relate to them. Many of you reading this are my friends on YouTube, and I hope you know by now how much I love you, and how much I value your friendship. But to those of you who sub to me, I don't take your sub lightly. I myself only sub to those channels that truly interest me, as common interests are what form the transactions that create friendships, and this cycle serves as the entire basis for YouTube. So I want you to know that I love and value you, too. I wish we lived in a world where I could friend everyone, but we don't. Then again, a world without hate has no balance in a world with only love, and there would be no use for Horror. And so it goes ...

I've posted my latest video, which I've had to privatize on YouTube. I just want the chance to post my videos like everyone else, without some needle dick uploading them on his channel as means through which to harass me. Anyway, Happy Holidays—whatever you celebrate—Happy New Year. Be safe. *hugs*