The Day the Music Died? Don McLean sang about it, but he couldn't have known that he would live to see Coachella completely sell its soul and become "Nochella." He did, however, go on to write about the Day the Horror Died—when Creation Entertainment took over the Weekend of Horrors from Fangoria.
Okay, not really. But had he written the latter, McLean could've completed his trilogy with a song about the Day the Comic Died, which was just a few days ago in San Diego, at Comic-Con. Ken Foree and John Carl Buechler (hard left: at WOH in summer 2010—while my old ass was passed out on a lobby sofa clutching my autographed $25 fine-I'll-buy-this-if-you-leave-me-alone-Joe Pilato-shakedown pic—my husband John was not only engaged in lengthy conversation with Mr. Buechler, they were quickly surrounded by several Jasons and Harry Manfredini in the F13 dealers' room!!) both canceled, which ought to tell you something. Sure, they probably had other (cough, better) things to do, but maybe someone told them that A) this is supposed to be a comics convention, and B) there would be sparkly vampires and Justin Timberlake in attendance.
There were some things worth catching at Comic-Con, such as Rick Baker's appearance on Thursday, a promotion for Men In Black III dressed up as a panel honoring Baker's career in legendary makeup FX. Apparently, I also missed the season two trailer for "The Walking Dead," which I'm completely gutted about, as I won't be able to see that anywhere else.
Sure, Comic-Con also rolled out Stan Lee in order to extend the line of cred on their nerd card, but unless he's doing cameos on "Psych" and "Burn Notice," what on earth do these shows (both featured at Comic-Con) have to do with comics? Bruce Campbell always counts, but not where the latter is concerned. And don't even get me started on Fright Night 3D, or that lousy comedy coming out with The Guy in the Facebook Film who acts like The Guy in the Facebook Film in every film he's in. 30 Minutes or Less? Why in hell does this film have a panel at Comic-Con? Is Jesse Eisenberg going to turn into Superman, then spin fast enough around the earth to condense 90 minutes of awful into less than 30? That would actually make his and the film's presence at Comic-Con relevant.
Anyway, I could go on, but you get it. Comic-Con, like everything else that used to be cool and authentic and great, has completely sold out, and I don't just mean the overpriced coveted weekend passes. Until recently, I thought that at least we still had Bonnaroo, but even Ben and Jerry have managed to put the sole surviving great American music festival's name on ice cream and call it "Bonnaroo Buzz."
Which, by the way, I bought and inhaled as if it carried the secret of NIMH. What? It had coffee in it. And last I checked, there weren't any generous pieces of buttery toffee to be found in Comic-Con.
